Mendy asked me what I would do if at the beach I saw a

girl in a string backing? My eye's belong to your Lord.

Mendy I desire you. My heart and eyes are yours. I know you 've had a battle with insecurity and I am committed to helping you know you are loved and that you are

beautiful.

You asked me about watching a movie and I a sex seen Comes on what would I do? I say if at that time it would be a trigger for me I would look away to you and ask that you fast forward the movie or maybe not even watch the movie at all to begin with.

I find myself wondering about boundaries. I've already placed boundaries on all my devices and the idea that Robby would know if I violate this boundary is enough that I never have. I want boundaries in my life. Not just for sexual purity but also to create value in my life for you, myself and others.

I violated a bounty with you Monday night. I was so excited about what I saw with the worship service on YouTube I wanted to share it with you. But its not a good excuse for creating a bounding break. I humbly ask your forgiveness. I want to keep building good behaviors.

As I think more about the question about a sex seen in a movie. Or maybe a drink at a bar. Or anything that we find ourselves doing from day to day. Is the question can I tolerate the things that can lead to sin really the right question? If we want to build an authentic deeper relationship with God what would he have us do? Would we be watching this movie in the first place? Would we be in the bar having a drink with someone that could lead to sin? Would we put off time with God so we can do something else instead? Would we do these things?

The answer starts for me with putting God first. I just can't and it seems to

me no one can put God in the backseat and think they can have a meaningful life.

I proper balance for me, it starts with God first, with no exception. I find myself working through things working on developing real boundaries and disciplines that help me be healthier and happier.

Musts and unwavering boundaries or systems for me are connecting with God

start God must be my start everyday, Reading(word), Prayer, Music, and Devotions

Connection with myself

Education - personal development, eating right, activities I enjoy, exercise, and proper sleep.

Connecting with others

Starting with you Mendy - Quality time, communication. Providing for and meeting needs for you. Creating a safe space for you. Doing things for you to give you a break. Giving you space so you can enjoy a hobby. Giving you permission to have time with friends. Praying for you day and night as well as with you. Us being involved in 1 to 2 small groups together.

Connecting with family:

Being avalable, being supportive, connecting and seeing if they have a need. Communicating with them more, and deepening the relationship with them.

Connection with others:-

I Must connect with other men. Holy Spirt showed me 3 people a day and 1 meetup a week. I must be their friend first not just them for me. Connecting with mutual friends. We need friends together and this is something I'm working on now.

business:

I must be a focused and

disciplined leader. I will lead as a servant just as Christ lead the church and gave his life for us.

Ministry:

I must serve others and out of this God will show them his love. I know God wants to use the raw authentic fresh surrendered heart to help others and set them free. I already see him doing this because of all that we're going through.

So you asked me how I can do this this? This is how. My mission isnt to get back with you. My mission is to see how holy God can make me. This is a journey, not a destination though. I don't want to do anything, go anywhere, hangout with anyone,

or watch anything that can lead to sin.

Do I want you in my life the answer as you know is most definitely yes.

Why? Well because I love you.

I really mean this Mendy. I'm madly in

^ love with you. I find you to be the

most beautiful and amazing woman God has ever created. Again you need to receive this because you have chosen to to believe a lie. You have listened to

Satan tell you the reason all the things have

happened to you is because Your

ugly and over wait and his

broken. These

are lies.

God didn't say any of this

' about you and of this neither have I.

Mendy your beauty is far more than skin deep. Your beauty is to your Core.

Are you perfect?. No of course not. Do you have work to do?

of course you do. I I'm sure like me you had never asked God how holy can you make me? It had never crossed my mind. I was always trying to see how much of the world I could enjoy and still be a Christian. Boy was I looking at this wrong.

^I should have been asking God how holy can you make me as I draw closer to you Lord.

There are so many desires I have put away because I only want to do

them with you. I don't say any of this to spotlight me or compare myself. What you do or have the conviction to do is between you and God.

I don't watch TV because I have shows I want to see with you some day. I don't want to see any of them until then. I don't drink. I want my first margarita to be with you. I don't pressure myself. I want my first time to have sex be with you. That sounds strange but its true. I am Committed to being the most

holy , loving, humble, honoring, obedient,

faithful man if God. I can be as he remakes me.

So I hope helps explain the difference and why when you asked me those questions I couldn't just answer then with a simple answer. Its like

asking me how do. I tow I'll never sin.

I will sin but its not going to be the ones you conserned about. God is looking to make us the most holy version of us he can if wheel let him.

This is what I'm going after. I hope you'll decide to join me in seeing how holly God can make us together.

Love, Bill